GREAT VALUES TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN BY AGE TEN

GREAT VALUES TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN BY AGE TEN



Instilling core values such as honesty, empathy, respect, and perseverance by the age of 10 gives children a solid foundation for the future. Parents naturally desire to pass on meaningful principles that will guide their children as they grow and face life’s challenges. Among the many lessons kids absorb, certain values are especially vital to introduce early—before the teenage years, when these qualities are often tested. Teaching values like honesty or respect may seem overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to happen all at once. Parents can nurture these traits through simple, intentional moments woven into everyday life.



Honesty



Children can start experimenting with lying as early as age two or three, so it’s best to teach the value of honesty early on. Helping kids practice truthfulness—with parents, friends, and even themselves—lays a strong foundation for integrity as they grow. Here are some ways to encourage honesty:




  • Model honesty yourself: Children learn by watching adults. Show honesty in your daily interactions, because even small inconsistencies—like harmless “white lies” about being out of cookies—can send mixed signals.

  • Acknowledge truthful behavior: Praise your child when they tell the truth, especially in moments where it’s difficult. This reinforces that honesty is noticed, valued, and appreciated.

  • Allow space for correction: Young children sometimes lie to avoid punishment. Instead of reacting harshly, give them a chance to admit the truth. If they correct themselves, commend their honesty while still addressing the behavior. This teaches that while actions have consequences, being truthful is always the right choice.



As family therapist Donna Laikind explains, “There’s nothing more powerful than modeling values. When a child sees a parent interacting honestly and with dignity, that becomes the greatest lesson of all.”



Accountability



Teaching children accountability is essential, as it helps them take ownership of their actions and recognize how their choices affect others. Here are some practical ways to encourage accountability:




  • Set clear consequences: According to Donna Laikind, “Parents have an unspoken contract with their kids about behavior.” Children need to know ahead of time that breaking rules will result in consequences. Clear expectations help them understand that their actions bring both positive and negative results.

  • Discuss family values often: For younger kids, concepts like right and wrong may feel abstract, but regular conversations about family values—especially as they grow—equip them to make good decisions in real-life situations, such as dealing with peer pressure or ethical dilemmas.

  • Practice through role-play: Accountability begins at home, but it’s tested at school and in social settings where parents aren’t around. Role-playing scenarios prepares children to take responsibility for their actions in these environments.



Pediatric psychologist Lauren Ford, PsyD, emphasizes, “It’s not just about teaching values in isolation—it’s about helping kids learn to problem-solve in a way that stays true to those values.”



Curiosity

By around age four, children begin asking endless “why” questions. Some are playful—like “Why is the sky blue?”—while others touch on deeper issues such as “Why do people hate each other?” Nurturing this natural curiosity strengthens their critical thinking and broadens their understanding of the world.




  • Make space for questions: Jana Mohr Lone, PhD, explains that encouraging children to ask and explore challenging questions boosts their confidence and independence in thinking.

  • Admit when you don’t know: Instead of always providing answers, explore possible explanations together. Being a co-learner can deepen your relationship.

  • Share personal experiences: By combining your life wisdom with their imaginative outlook, both you and your child can learn and grow together.



Respect

Respect becomes especially important as children enter school, where it shows up in both simple actions—like waiting their turn—and in appreciating perspectives different from their own.




  • Model good listening at home: Pause and really listen to your child before responding. This demonstrates respect and encourages them to do the same with others.

  • Teach openness to other views: While you want your child to hold core values, it’s also vital to show them how to respect people who think differently.



Empathy

Empathy—the ability to understand and connect with others’ feelings—is a cornerstone of strong, lasting relationships.




  • Use play as a teaching tool: Pretend play, cooperative games, or storytelling help kids see from different perspectives.

  • Go beyond saying “sorry”: Dr. Lauren Ford encourages guiding children to recognize how their actions affect others rather than just offering an apology.

  • Model empathy daily: Simple acts of kindness, patience, or volunteering are powerful examples for children to follow.



Determination

Determination isn’t about boldness—it’s about persistence, resilience, and learning to keep going despite setbacks.




  • Let them struggle a little: Avoid rushing in to solve every problem. Struggles and mistakes build problem-solving skills and perseverance.

  • Encourage wisely: Support and guide them through challenges, offering feedback without excessive praise, so they learn the value of steady effort.



Open Communication



When children feel safe to express themselves, they gain confidence in relationships and problem-solving.




  • Create a home that values expression: Encourage your child to share daily experiences or talk about what excites them. Even quiet children can learn to communicate in their own way.

  • Explore deeper conversations: Dr. Mohr Lone notes that bringing up big questions early fosters lasting respect and openness—even through the teenage years.



At *Giving Hope Counselling Services*, we believe every child deserves the right foundation to grow into a confident, responsible, and emotionally healthy adult. Our Marriage and Family Therapists are here to walk alongside you, offering expert guidance on instilling great values such as honesty, empathy, respect, and open communication in your children by age 10. With our professional support, you can raise well-adapted children who thrive both at home and in the wider world.



Any time you encounter issues in the family, remember you don’t have to do it alone. Always seek our services by calling/WhatsApp at +*254721240462*/*254733932470* or email us at info@givinghope.co.ke. Also check for more informative articles on our blog on our website www.givinghope.co.ke.



Peter Mugi Kuruga



Counselling Psychologist/Marriage and Family Therapist



 



 



 


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